Writings By Phil

Thoughts On This And That

At My Wits End and Doubting God

October 15, 1978

Sunday. I worked on the swamp tractor all day. In the late afternoon, I got it running and was able to pull the aluminum boat out of the river. Our dock was floating on two extra buggy tires, so I pulled them up the bank as well. I noticed the clutch on the tractor was not working right and tried to adjust it. I hardly touched it and the cable snapped. The newly frayed end pulled into the bell housing causing a terrible clatter that scared me. I was afraid something would blow up and end my life with shrapnel! Like a chicken with its head cut off I was running in moronic circles, at least in my mind. At last, reason regained control over my thoughts and I choked the engine, killing it before it killed me!

I pulled the bell housing off the transmission, again. Inside, parts were obviously broken. I hoped they could be welded back together and allow us to drive the swamp buggy to Santa Cruz.

The wives of my coworkers, minus Sharon Short, flew out to Cochabamba. Sharon volunteered to stay and cook for those of us staying to shut down the base.

Nick, the helicopter pilot, resigned from Helimission and would return to the State in the morning. We were all sad about his leaving. He had been a blessing to our team in making flights into areas where the mission airplane could not go for lack of an airstrip. Using both the airplane and the helicopter to shuttle all our stuff out of the Rio Hediondo would really speed things up, but that was just not meant to be. I bought their pots and pans, skillet and SW radio when I was out in the city. Those things would be waiting for me if I ever got out to Cochabamba.

October 17

Bad weather prevented us from getting most of our stuff out yesterday. Only three planeloads went. Brian Porterfield wanted to make up for the delay and start flying shuttles at 5:30 this morning. That did not happen! Again, dawn brought more rain. Now, with most of the morning gone, heavy precipitation was still falling!

The weather cleared a bit in the early afternoon. We got our first flight out to a nearby airstrip where all our chattels were being stockpiled until all was there. I sent the broken buggy part on the airplane. Brian was to drop them off at another mission base on the Rio Chimore. I had hopes that missionary Ed Wiebe could weld it back together.

Two new buggy tires came in on yesterday’s flight. They still needed to be mounted on the rims. Breaking down the old ones was a job I was dreading.

Late in the afternoon we got three more flights out to the nearby airstrip. Also, I got the buggy part back. The weld looks great! Even better, once I installed it, the tractor started and runs!

October 18

Again, we woke to the sound of rain on the tin roof. Consequently, we did not start at 5:30 in the morning as planned. Mid-morning, the rain cleared and we got more flights off to the airstrip. We hired another mission with an airplane to help us. Now there are only about two more planeloads left. Ivan, the other pilot did a number of shuttles for us. Sharon flew to Cochabamba with Brian. Wally left with Ivan. Matt and Alan were at the nearby airstrip, staying by the stuff, waiting for the last flight out of here. They planned to hire a truck to haul it to Cochabamba. Paul, I, and the puppies were the only ones left at the Rio Hediondo.

Everyone left, and guess what! The buggy messed up, again. The clutch plates would not slip so the tractor would not go into gear. Worse, on top of that, the engine, again, refused to start. We were supposed to leave the Rio Hediondo in the morning!

I was at the end of my recourses. I was struggling in my walk with God. Did He care about such problems? I did not know. Did He care about me? I was not sure. I did not deserve His blessing. Much of the time, unless something major like this went wrong, I did quite well without Him. I was afraid to pray!

This story was from the category Tales From Green Hell. If you would like to read more of my experiences in the jungles of Bolivia, please click on that link below.

More Writings by Phil

Phil Burns

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