Writings By Phil

The big “Seven Zero” caught me, today. I ran from it for years hoping to stay young! Maybe, I just got too old and tired to outrun it! Birthdays just kept coming with unwavering persistence, and, like it or not, I turned 70 years old.

Seven decades is a milestone that takes a lifetime to reach. Many do not live long enough to get 70 candles on their birthday cake! However, age can also be a millstone! Why? Because even though one still feels young at heart and in mind, the body begs to differ.

The book of 1 Kings in the Bible tells the story of King David when he was 70 years old. The King James version refers to him “old and stricken in years.” That sounds like decrepitly old! His millstone was that even though they covered him with blankets, he could not get warm.

The Bible passage makes it sound like David had lost some of his mental capacity, as well. Seems his servants had to make decisions for him and implement them, be they good or bad ones. Their solution was to bring in a young, pretty woman to cuddle with him and keep him warm. I guess he married her? As such, he would have had to take on the expense of caring for her. Women are high upkeep projects, but well worth the effort! However, unless you are a king, most men can’t afford two, even if polygamy was legal! David’s new expense burden for marrying another wife included buying food, clothes, dining out, entertainment, and even contributing to her Roth IRA. She would need retirement benefits because she would live many more years after he went to “sleep with his fathers.”

I never thought of Jerusalem as a frigidly cold city, but for whatever reason, David was cold all the time. I think a better solution for his problem, and cheaper, would have been for him to become a snowbird and move to Florida in the wintertime. Though sometimes we turn on the heater, it is a rare winter night down here that cuddling is needed to stay warm. I suppose, if I wasn’t so frugal (stingy) with the AC and ran it even in the wintertime, things might be different. Unlike me, David, had he moved to Florida for the winter months, probably had enough shekels saved by age 70 to run the air conditioner 24/7 and snuggle till dawn every morning. Or, he could just skip the pretty young thing and turn the heater to high! Cold cash was, definitely, not one of his problems!

To the perverted male mind, taking care of two women and meeting their every need sounds noble. If I did it, I think, “That would be big of me!” Jackie, on the other hand would scream, “That’s spelled B-I-G-A-M-Y! And, bigamy is illegal!”

From the beginning, having more than one wife was against God’s perfect plan of one man to one woman. However, all the kings of Israel, including David, indulged in the practice. I do wonder how Bathsheba and the other wives felt about David taking another woman to wife! Especiallly, a young innocent one! I can only guess it made them feel a bit unattractive and insecure in their own skins!

So today, I reached a milestone. Seventy years of life will be celebrated, even if I have to endure hearing that silly song, Happy Birthday, one more time! Haply, I still have my wits! I am not hankering to take a second wife! That desire would drastically reduce my potential remaining years! Nor do I need caregivers that could induce me to such a bad decision. I am so much better off than David was when he had his seventieth birthday party!

There will not be seventy candles on my cake, either! That would be a lot of fire and if it got out of hand, I’m not sure I could shuffle out of the house fast enough to avoid being ingulfed in flames. Mobility and loss of feeling in my feet and hands are growing millstones about my neck, but I still walk, ride my bike, work and build things out of wood, type and play the piano. I have much to be thankful for! Of course, those stones will grow heavier with each passing year, but hey, right now, at least, I’m not old and stricken in years!

The End

Jared

Happy birthday Phil. Glad you aren’t considering a second wife. Your first one is pretty good. I think you should keep her.

Paul

Such good an humorous writing!  I always enjoy them!

Vickie

Happy Birthday Phil! I’m one year behind you but I’ve felt like a 70 year old for several years now. 😉 “The outward man perisheth, but the inward man is renewed day by day “

Cindy

Love your posts..I, too, am happy you’re not taking on a 2nd wife…in today’s world it would be overly costly….lol. Happy 70th Birthday Phil. It sounds like you had a Wonderful birthday & I already know you have a Wonderful family that Loves you to the moon & back.

Kelly

Happy Birthday! Grateful for your wit and wisdom.

Alice

Happy Birthday 💜 Thanks for sharing a bit of laughter today. God bless you and Jackie, who must be thankful that you’re not considering additional wives 😄

Betty

Happy Birthday Phil.